jinglydoodle.

Seriously? What is UP with this? It seems the more posts I have, the less often I post. This can't keep on, it won't. I promise. Let me say why: I've been flooded with school starting and tennis, but I've got a hold of it now and I will still blog. I promise:) scouts honor.

ANYWAYS... yesterday i stayed up later than needed because an amazing friend of me... who we will call Jinglydoodle, (he knows that's him, trust me) on just some personal troubles I've been having. It's nothing new, so if you know me dont feel as if you need to come to me saying "OH NO EMMA, WHATS WRONG. ARE YOU OKAY? OH BOY. WHATS WRONG?" please dont. I mean, i respect the love and all and it's great that you care that much but it's just the usual venting scenario. Anyways, jinglydoodle and I were talking and it just let me know how good it is to have someone you can count on. Someone that won't judge you once you start pouring out to them. Someone that actually thinks the story your telling them is interesting, and they're begging to here the rest and reach out and help.

OHHH and to jinglydoodle: good luck.

Luckily, God has blessed me with many of these people. And I'm so SO greatful. Another thing that I know of for sure is that I need to be that kind of friend too. Show that kind of love towards my brothers and sisters in Him, and always be there for them. Because (not trying to steal James' recent blog theme (http://funnybecause.blogspot.com/2010/08/matthew-please-mark-my-proverbs.html check it out!), but I need to associate myself with the "right crowd" of friends. Wait no, scratch that. I need to be as connected with others as I can (especially to spread the good news), but I need to make sure they are REAL FRIENDS. As in, I can tell them anything without a doubt.

Be honest, how many facebook friends do you have? 352. Now how many of those could I hit "chat" on and pour my heart out to? Very few. Probably under 20. Maybe more, but that might be exaggerating. How many of those 352 do I sincerelly love to be with? maybe 200, but there are some times when even I feel like i need a break from some of them. Do you see how bad that list is? Don't get me wrong, I try and socialize with my facebook friends so I do not delete them. I like to know I have an oppurtunity at all times to socialize with someone i know that i might not even really "know" that well.

Let me know later if this makes no sense.

But anyways, in school starting this year especially, we need to know that. Expect a long rambly (like always) classic blog TOMORROW, but I have a test to study for... :/ goodnight every body. Thank you, God, for FINALLY helping me to type this up. :) Bye guys.

Remembering

Sorry for the lack of posting in a total of nine days. I don't have a really good excuse, and I'm sorry. I'm working on it. Maybe I'll make it part of me "homework" now that school is about to start up. But there has been a lot going on in the past 10 days. Lets see, I helped my friend Claire (who I LOVE) move and also stayed with her in her first night ever with her own room, I've been busy in tennis (especially with our first match next week, trying to improve to get a higher rank), and I have also had personal things on my plate. I had a youth council interview last week and it was more of a reunion because I saw loved ones and talked to Georgie who has always been someone I can look up too, I went to an amazing concert by two people my whole family loves, and this weekend I'm going on a youth group retreat to build leadership. So I guess there has been a lot going on, but I'll let you know i NEVER stopped praying. God was always most important. No matter what.

I have this cross thats right at the top of the stairs. So you go up the stairs, and if you're looking straight you see the cross RIGHT AWAY. I like that. It reminds me every time I go up to my room, and every time I go downstairs to get a snack or watch TV I always see it. I always think to myself "Amen." as in "yes." as in I am here. and I am here to do as you wish. Just help to guide me so I follow your amazing path into the perfect me you imagine. Even though I will never reach the highest standards I have for him, he still thinks I am perfect, just the way I am. And this is something I need to remember because a few minutes ago me and my friend were trying a home-remedy to cure acne. He loves me no matter if I have acne, no matter if I'm having "boy problems" or if things aren't going how i want them to. They're not supposed to go how I want them to. That's not what happens. I'm here to do what HE wants me to do. I just forget that sometimes. So I guess that cross and that simple "Amen" helps me to remember I'm here because, for, and with Him.

Along with all the other things I'm striving for in life, like to perfect my serve and aim in tennis, silly appearance & crushes, good grades, getting better musically, figuring out if I'm on student council, working in my church youth group council, and being a good friend, I also have a number 1 goal.

Top 10 Goals:

10. Hopefully, make student council

9. Work on my aim in tennis

8. Work on guitar

7. Perfect serve in tennis

6. Work on piano

5. Work on singing

4. Good Grades and whatnot in school this year

3. Be an amazing friend and help everyone I can, no matter how I feel about them.

2. Do my best in my church youth group council (total youth council)

1. Strive always to be who He plans for me to be, no matter how challenging or great it is. Because He will be there for me every single step of the way.

As i wrote that last one (by the way, 10 is least important all the way to 1. which is by far especially greatly more important) i was looking at that cross. I'm glad that's in my house in a place where I see it so often. I need that reminder. That's pretty sad, but true. Sometimes we forget, because we know we're not perfect but we try to be, that we need Him. He is the only cure. Whether it's a ring from a mission trip, a cross, a quote or verse you can never forget, we all have something that reminds us. It's not a bad thing, even though He should always be on our minds. It's a great thing that even though we DO forget, we try everything to help ourselves remember always. I will always remember. He's always been there for me. I never give up on God because if I'm a tough spot in life He WANTS ME to be there. He wants me to learn from it, or use Him to get through it. Or He wants me to wait for the better outcome. He is the reason.

John 14:6

Jesus replied, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

FOG

Wow. This may be the longest I've gone without blogging, and I'm sorry. I've just been caught up in chaos and couldn't think of something that was enough to tell you guys about. Well as you know, the new school year is coming up. Some people are starting any day, I am starting in two weeks. But its still an anxious time for everyone. Everybody is driving out to the nearest target to go pick up all the notebook and folders and pencils and pens. All high schoolers are getting there schedules and trying to figure out who's in who's class. It's hectic. We lose track of time. We're trying out for sports, doing the summer reading and assignments we should've done a month ago. That's what our focus is on. But we can't forget what is SUPPOSED TO BE our focus. God. We know this, I've said it just about a thousand times on here, but it's because that needs to stick with us.

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

In Pure Fashion we went to a speech class. In that speech class, we were taught that something will stick in your head once you hear it 7 times. Something will stick in your head once you hear it 7 times. It'll stick in your head once you hear it 7 times. 7 times. 7 times. Once you hear it 7 times, it will stick. 7 TIMES. You're probably tired of that, but now you can remember it, right? It's like in the Verizon commercials. "Can you hear me now?" that sticks with you. So why shouldn't this stick with you? Focus On God. FOG. Can you remember that? I can, and I will. I might right it on my binder this year or post it on a post-it in my locker or right it on my tennis racket somewhere so that no matter HOW hectic my life is getting this school-year, I'll remember to Focus On God.

I've done so much this summer. I'm proud to say this has been the best summer i have ever had. I didn't do everything I wanted, but I met people that I may or may not ever see again- but they changed my life and to this day I still talk to them. I've been on trips to waterparks with my church, hung out with close friends, and went on an unforgettable mission trip where I met just a ton of people who will never leave my heart. I also went to an inspiring concert performed by a guitar player who has no arms, went to Virginia, met unbelievably great people and visited family in Minnesota, and made the school tennis team, making even more friends (that I'll see in just a few hours). I have an interview in two days, on my cousin and brother's birthday, to be on the council for the high school youth group for my church. It'll be just like a reunion seeing everyone again. And I couldn't be happier.

"Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life,
to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession
in the presence of many witnesses."
1 Timothy 6:12

The main reason that I LOVED summer 2010 is that I grew relationships with amazing people, and made my relationship with God stronger than it has EVER BEEN. And I'm psyched to help others grow in faith, too. I'll be teaching 1st graders (as a junior teacher) this year in Sunday school. It'll be my second year teaching and it's just making my life better. It's nice to know that I'm especially more happy when I'm closer to God then I am when I push Him away. Remember that- I promise I'm not going to say THAT 7 times. I already went through THAT point. What I'm trying to say is this:

• FOG: Focus On God
• Make the most of what you have, but always remember that He comes 1st.
• Have a good year filled with friends, faith, and fun (I hope)
• sometimes it won't be fun, following God. It'll get challenging and hard, but that's how we know it's wonderful. His reward for us isn't just HANDED to us. We have to earn it. He loves us no matter what, but we have to work for Him to really appreciate and understand all the undeserved stuff that He has given us.

Take It Up

(Mark 8:34-35) He now called the crowd to him with his disciples and said to them:

“If anyone wants to come after me, let him disown himself and pick up his torture stake and follow me continually.

For whoever wants to save his soul will lose it;

but whoever loses his soul for the sake of me and the good news will save it.

Take up your cross. What does that mean to you? Just think about that for a minute. If someone were to come and tell you to take up your cross, what would you think? To be honest, if a random person came up to me and said that I'd be a bit creeped out. But this isn't a random person, tihs is Jesus. We all know it's not going to be easy taking up our cross, but it's what we need to do. When I was in Minnesota last week and for two weeks before that, I stayed up north with my grandma for a part of the time. It's a REALLY small town. My little cousin and I were able to walk to the very end within like 5 or 10 minutes. And i'm pretty sure it was allowed to just walk through the drive through at dairy queen (though, to my dismay, we never tried). But my mom and i stopped at a flower shop/coffe shop and was looking around. There was a little plaque that i loved, it said "God never said it would be easy, He just promised it would be worth it.

I really, really like that. It's so true. It's not going to be easy, we should know that by now. I've had my fair share of problems in my life, a lot based on my faith. I dont let that stop me or my faith. My faith actually grows stronger after i face problems. The reason why (i believe) is I seek God for help, and know that He WILL help me as to follow what He plans for me. And that trust in Him strengthens my love for Him.

In 8th grade I joined pure fashion and I went to a weekend retreat. I came back COMPLETELY different. But it's safe to say I absolutely LOVE how I turned out. The bad side was my very best friend from school was not ready for that drastic change between days that she saw me (Friday i was one way, Monday i was completely different). She was also changing in ways too, and it's a really complicated story, but we were both just drifting the exact opposite. We normally would have stupid little fights like why didnt you wait for me after class, but then after we changed we had more intense fights. Nothing physical, but it was always questioning who eachother was now. It would always end with an apology and they started getting a little less often but the tension was building up. January we had a humongous fight (over the internet, oh joy) that ended up in us "not being friends anymore", all because we had changed- I growind closer to my faith, and her rebelling a bit (not really in a bad way though). I regreted everything that was said the second after it was said, and I did everything to try and end that fight, and eventually it worked. We worked things out and eventually became even closer than we originally were. It took a lot of praying, but now we're amazing.

She went through her own things, lots of things, after our big fight, and I was there to help her through all of them. I love her soo much and I'm so happy that i got through that battle, and maybe that's not completely taking up my cross, because although she did start to rebel a little less, that was more of a personal cross for me. It just reminds me, though, that in order to be close with God i have to face challenges. Like seperating from friends, and judgement. But we will make it through. We WILL make it through for Him. We can do this.

Whenever I come across a tough situation, faith related or not, I almost always pray something along the lines of God, please help me to get through this problem. Help me so the path I'm going in is taking me to where you want me to be. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. I don't deserve any of it but I praise you even more for how awesome you are.

And before I wrap this up, i just though of something while writing that. The theme of our mission trip was undeserved. It was both a way of saying how we need to serve Him (take up your cross!) and how undeserved we are of all the gracious things He has done for us. I'm in the middle of my room right now typing this way too early in the morning. I've had a list of things I've wanted to blog for a while now, but i havent gotten around to it, which makes me pretty mad/sad. But I hope that this post (even though it's mainly about me, sorry!) helps you.

"He just promised it'd be worth it"

Shout to the Lord, all the earth,

Let us sing

Power and majesty, praise to the King;

Mountains bow down and the seas will roar

At the sound of Your name.

I sing for joy at the work of Your hands,

Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand,

Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.

-Shout to the Lord

-Chris Tomlin

Wrapups

So here I am, on an airplane. That’s right, in less then one hour I’ll be back in North Carolina. (on an afternote, i actually left the NC airport and drove straight to VA) Then driving straight up to Virginia. It’s nice to be going home, that’s for sure. But I’m DEFINITELY going to miss all the great times I had in Minnesota. “Yeah, you betcha.” It’s weird. I haven’t blogged in a few days only because I’ve been swarmed with family. My cousins (one family I think 6 children?) came to visit and even before that I was constantly busy. Any free time I took advantage of, but I never had enough time to just sit down without anyone really hounding me and just write. Which is what I love, writing. But I’m back now, anyways!

Right now I’m on the airplane to NC on my laptop on Microsoft word. Later I’m going to copy paste this whole thing on to Blogger, add some color, and post it. But I actually like being on this plane because I’m so isolated and I can just think. I have my headphones in, listening to my music, and just writing. My current song is Who Am I by Casting Crowns, really- you should listen to it. It’s just an amazing song. Here’s a clip:

I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I’m calling

Lord you catch me when I’m falling, and You’ve told me who I am

I am Yours.

I think that’s just a great song to think about. Like, just sit down and think- why am I here? I’m definitely not here to be breathing. I’m His. I’m here for Him. Casting Crowns, if you haven’t heard of them, is a great Christian band to check out, I especially like Who Am I, Does Anybody Hear Her, and If We Are The Body. But let’s go away from me advertising Christian music groups; I was talking to my friend James from my mission trip on facebook. I was on my way to the airport today and I got a text message saying that he posted something on my wall. He told me to listen to a song called A More Beautiful You by Johnny Diaz. It’s this amazing song though that really just hits the target straight on about teenage and young adult girls. Flashback to Mission Trip 2010, Kingstree, SC- it’s one of the last nights. It’s close to curfew. Two of the red shirt staff girls come in to sing goodnight or tell a story. But instead of going classroom to classroom, they gather an audience around the bathroom. The turnout is huge, a large majority of the girls were sitting there listening to those two girls sing and play guitar to A More Beautiful You. A lot were crying because the song just hits home so much.

So it really brought me back to mission trip, which is probably in the top 10 best times in my life, once I started listening to it again after James told me to check it out on YouTube. I refrained from crying or singing along (or both) because I was in a public airport listening to it on YouTube from my phone. Music means a lot to me. It expresses so much. I can express my love for God through music, or just about any other thing I need to express. When I’m sad I sing, no joke. I’ll go alone some place and sing my feelings out. That’s not saying I think that I’m that good, but I still like it. And so my little playlist I’m listening to on iTunes right now is just making me think. And think. And think.

I’m in the middle of rambling on and on to you, and I’m sorry, it’s just hard not too when you have a large amount of time on a plane without Internet or much else to do. I had a book that I had to read for the upcoming school year, Fahrenheit 451, that I just finished reading and I’ll be talking about probably soon. I used up most of my stuff during the 1-hour delay that turned into 2 hours after they literally lost (couldn’t find anywhere) a flight attendant. So I guess I’ll just wrap up with a part from another Casting Crowns song.

If we are the Body, why aren’t His arms reaching?

Why aren’t His hands healing? Why aren’t His words teaching?

And if we are the Body why aren’t His feet going?

Why is His love not showing them there is a way? Jesus is the way.

The Reason

Sorry for my lack of posting recently. I’ve just been caught up with family here in Minnesota. Great state, to “ya’ll” who live here. ;) Anyways, I had a few things I decided I wanted to talk about so I guess I’ll just start and we’ll see where this all goes.

Well to start off with, I’m writing this Sunday night at 11:25 MN time. It’s just our power is out (scheduled for this to happen, though) for 4 hours. I can’t post it right now then, my phone says it’s too long (yeah I already tried texting it in) and I cant stay up that late. So this is being posted sometime on Monday, but written on Sunday. Try to wrap THAT around your head! But last night I was on facebook debating if I should blog or not while talking to James and something hit me- pure fashion. If you remember, I’ve mentioned it in at least 2 earlier posts. Props to you if you remembered, but I don’t think I’ve ever explained what pure fashion actually is. Just mentioned it.

Any mission trippers that are reading this might know Lauren or Claire from NC. They and I were in this organization together that involves fashion (yes) but its dressing appropriate and modest but still trendy, and then confidently. So pretty much dressing to impress the Lord. And of course we would have hair and makeup day and a huge fashion show (actually two) but I wont get into that part. I guess I just wanted to let you guys know that there are things like this. There are ways you can get involved with your faith if you don’t want to sing or lead a council. I guess that’s basically it for the pure fashion thing, but (since I’m limited on space) I’ll kinda try and wrap this up.

I was thinking today about something my sister told me earlier this year. We were studying things in science during the school year, and a lot was on how the world came to be. What really bothered me is my teacher would just say pretty much this is what happened. This and this only, and the textbook says it and scientists say it so this is what happened. Leading me to believe that he didn’t think God had any part in it. I was complaining to my sister (who is in her 20s) and she said that any thing and everything comes back to God. They say a supernova created all the planets. Okay, but where did the supernova come from? God. This just helps me feel a little better all the time knowing no matter what, God was the reason, is the reason, and will be the reason. He’s the reason we’re here and we’re living. We’re living for him, right? So lets do it. I guess I rambled which I tried not to do, but whatever. J

I’m in the middle of a power outage. It was planned. 10:30 exactly everything was zapped off. So I’m forced to type this on my phone. If this posts I’m extremely lucky. And so just (until next time) remember these key points

1. you can always be involved in your faith. Even if you don’t go through something like pure fashion.

2. God is the reason, the way, love, and just amazing.

Cry

Yes, I am still in Minnesota but this blog doesn't even talk about it- SORRY JAMES! Maybe if you remember a few blogs back i mentioned something I'm in called Pure Fashion. I don't really want to elaborate on it, but it's a great program- so ask me about it sometime. Anyways, we had a weekend retreat, towards the beginning of the season (around the school year), and all the cabins were in the middle of the woods, so the short walk to the meeting place meant stepping on some crunchy leaves. But then again, that's really fun- so no one cared! As i was saying, a lot of girls ended up walking around in the forest just thinking to themselves, sometimes talking out loud, to get closer to God. I don't know if you've ever heard this, but when it's all silent and your just thinking to yourself and you're in that moment where you're not even really thinking, it's just these thoughts are processing- That's you're conversation with Him. He works through you, it works even better when you talk out loud (i've tried).

I didn't get to stay both nights, i refused to miss out on my youth group meeting at my church with my two other friends (Claire and Lauren) and so the first night there was my only night. Luckily, that was the deeper stuff and everything i missed Sunday was more of the glamour stuff (once again, ask me about the organization if you're wondering what I'm talking about). Well Saturday morning i was walking around in the forest and i started talking to myself and i just realized i wasn't even thinking about what to say anymore, i just started Him off and i just kept on talking from there. I cried, a lot. Actually, it was the most in touch with God i had EVER been. Ever.

Then there was mission trip this year. We had this thing on Thursday called "Cry night". It's basically where through a series of events of realization, you realize all that you've been doing wrong when you could've been helping Him for His plans for you, great and many. I cried then too, just because i got so into my conversation with Him, it was just inside my head. So nobody could hear me whatsoever, but i heard Him - loud and clear. And then i looked around and saw all my friends who were sitting just bawling. Gasping for air, looking up like they were missing something. I felt like i needed to go help them. So i went around, even to people i didnt know, and would just place my hand on their back, or just sit next to them for a little. I didnt talk unless they talked to me- and if i did i just told them how to talk to God like i did. I figured what they needed was some silence and God.

Then i had this friend who was still crying after most everyone had finished. I wasnt close with her before mission trip, but now we're really close. And I went and sat with her. I talked to her a little, and i told her eventually- just talk to Jesus. To get through this you just need Him. And she said something that i'd heard earlier that week- "Right now i need Jesus in flesh."

That night i had just talked with that friend for quite some time. We seperated ourselves from everyone else. And i dont think i even talked to her, she was talking to God out loud, and occasionally she would look over and i'd just tell her she was doing great. I was so proud (sorry if that sounds a bit mom-ish.) And I realized more than ever that sometimes you need silence because in silence we can think straight to conversations with God, and we can talk out loud to Him. Sometimes we need Jesus with flesh. She called me a saint that night. I laughed and denied it because all I was doing was trying to do what He wants me to do. Serve Him. Oh, and sometimes we just need to cry. I've learned that over the past few months. Things would happen to me and i would just break away from everything and just cry. Or sing my feelings out. Or talk to God. And it would all just pour out, but it would work.

There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We're crying for them come back home
We're crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

-Tears of the Saints

-Leeland